Sunday, January 27, 2013

productive?

well, that's a loaded question. Yes & No. Still working stuff out in my head. I have always been the person who gets an idea, runs out to buy all the supplies and then the novelty of the idea wears off. Here I sit with a closet FULL of supplies. So this winter I let a lot of the supplies go. Sending care packages around the world hoping my trash was someones elses treasure. It felt sooooo good to let go and also to maybe send a little something that might inspire someone else.
The last week or two I have been spending a lot of quiet time alone, asking myself what is it I want to do with the second half of my life. I will be turning 51 next month and up til now have had some sort of J.O.B. outside the home. I want to create. I have tried to smoosh it into a closet, stuff it into a drawer, put it out of my mind, tell myself that's a life for someone else. All this jibber jabber and I still want to create.
So productive is a relative term. In terms of processing things, VERY productive. I am ready to let go of more of my supplies. I am seeing a pattern forming in my creative thoughts. This is all good.
I am also letting go of the idea of what it means to be an artist, in being creative. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself- like it's a stage performance instead of a lifestyle. More to come.......